After My Own Heart

Starring off into the half dusk sky, my daughter had that faint glimmer of deep thought in her eyes and her face displayed a traveling ease of far away contemplations; which lead me to envision myself as a child as if my car was a two way mirror from the past to the present. I felt that something was on her mind and when asked, she gave subtle, non-evasive replies “Nothing is on my mind”, “I am just quiet, mommy”, and my favorite: silence!


Ten minutes after I gave up the attempt to journey into her mind, a faint voice entered my thoughts by saying “Mommy, I do not want you to pass away”, “What would I do without you”. I was surprised by her expression and was immediately jolted into stating to her that “She will be okay, God will be here to help her through difficult times”. Her response to me was classic; “I am too little to be without you”. With a smile on my face and a nod of my head I said “God willing I will live to see you graduate from school, start your own family and surpass what I have achieved in life”.

This conversation began while we watched the Loretta Claiborne story. When the actress began to cry because her mom died, I automatically turned my attention to my daughter to view what her reaction was to this moment. Her face had become sadden as she took it all in. Once she realized that I was watching her, she turned and asked “Why is she sad, mommy.” I said to her that the lady is sad because her mom passed away. At this particular instance, I could tell by the look she had that this would come back up soon.

And so it did!

But reminiscing about my childhood brings back these same memories that I use to have as a youth. I did not want to pass away early and miss out on my family. I use to think of death and stare off into the sky and think of the future and it would bring me to tears thinking of the what-if’s. How ironic we as adults think that our children are so different from us, when in essence they are miniature replicas of ourselves waiting to blossom into their unique selves.

After the conversation was over and she settled back into her set as we continued on our way home, I could not help but to think “LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER!”

Deepest Fear!

As a single working mother, my deepest fears are that I am not devoting enough time to my child. Also, I worry that if something happens to me what would happen to her; will she have a solid foundation to survive and succeed without me?Reading the poem below and remembering a situation that happened with my daughter jolted me into action to stop fearing the unknown and try!

Back in August I begin writing a children’s book with a companion book for parents. This book was about how I came to an early realization that my daughter was more aware and in tuned with me and her surrounding then I thought she was for a 5 year old. I hope that this book will help other parents to speak with their children about things more often! It is a learning process after all.


OUR DEEPEST FEARS by Marianne Williamson

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear in that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World.There is nothing enlightening about shrinkingso that other people won’t feel unsure around you.We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.As we let our own Light shine,we consciously give other people permission to do the same.As we are liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others."