Monday, March 29, 2010

Overwhelming Love

I have taken a small break from this blog. I have not been feeling well, which was a prelude to me having a cyst burst on my ovaries (Again). If any of you have ever experienced this, it is a pain like no other. I would have rather did NATURAL child-birth again. YES, I said it! NATURAL! Even though I was in so much pain, my guiding light was my 7-year-old. From that morning trying to get her dress she was more concerned with me being okay. When thinking about how much a child loves their parents that they think unselfishly about them when they are hurt, makes me say that we as adults can take a page out of the CHILDREN’S NOTEBOOK OF LIFE!

To give my daughter a small glimpse into just how much she has affected my life and just how much I appreciate her, I wrote this letter to her titled: You mean the World!

How do I begin to explain my un-defining love and appreciation I have for you little one? You were never planned, but you were expected. You were foretold to me months before I knew you existed; yet I felt as if you were with me always. I feel like you came into my life to give me direction back to the path God had laid out, you gave me a purpose and most of all you filled me with so much LOVE!

As a parent I look at you and see a beautiful and intelligent little girl who I want to succeed based on her choices, wants and beliefs in life. My prayer and fear is that I can give back to you an ounce of what you bring to me on a daily basis. As a single parent, I worry so much about small and big things in regards to our life. But each and every time I look into your eyes you bring a brightness to my soul.

Our bond did not begin after you were born, that unbreakable bond that we have was created before I laid my eyes upon you! You stick by me through sickness and good times. You are always understanding, you are never un-thoughtful, and you are always willing to help. What more could a mother ask for? You are not perfect, nor do you try to be; but with all your imperfections you give your all when it comes to ME!

I hope and I pray that I can be as great of a mother to you as a GREAT of a daughter you are to me!


Have a wonderful Monday everyone!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Manners: Where are they?

Today, I took a figurative look through my daughter’s eyes at the people who we encounter every day. I have worked hard to instill manners, values and an unbreakable foundation in my daughter. But looking around today I see so many individuals, old and young alike, who are lacking the basic fundamentals of life. The main one that I am referring to is courtesy! As I walked down the corridors, I did what I am accustom to doing; I looked each person in the eye, and either nodding my head and gave a gracious smile (if they were talking but made eye contact with me) or I said hello. Out of the maybe 20 people (estimate) I passed only 7 bothered to give a gesture in return!

This is sad! Looking back I use to get so upset when my daughter was younger. She would speak to individuals and some would ignore her. I can remember thinking to myself "what kind of person does not speak to a child". But as time has went on my daughter continues to speak even without a response, even though I can tell that it bothers her sometimes when the greeting is not delivered in return.

Once again, my daughter has taught me to continue speaking. But how ironic I just begin to take note of how people now are so distant, even when a greeting is sent their way. It makes me wonder, am I teaching my daughter an OLD rule that needs to be modified based on today's society?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

After My Own Heart

Starring off into the half dusk sky, my daughter had that faint glimmer of deep thought in her eyes and her face displayed a traveling ease of far away contemplations; which lead me to envision myself as a child as if my car was a two way mirror from the past to the present. I felt that something was on her mind and when asked, she gave subtle, non-evasive replies “Nothing is on my mind”, “I am just quiet, mommy”, and my favorite: silence!

Ten minutes after I gave up the attempt to journey into her mind, a faint voice entered my thoughts by saying “Mommy, I do not want you to pass away”, “What would I do without you”. I was surprised by her expression and was immediately jolted into stating to her that “She will be okay, God will be here to help her through difficult times”. Her response to me was classic; “I am too little to be without you”. With a smile on my face and a nod of my head I said “God willing I will live to see you graduate from school, start your own family and surpass what I have achieved in life”.

This conversation began while we watched the Loretta Claiborne story. When the actress began to cry because her mom died, I automatically turned my attention to my daughter to view what her reaction was to this moment. Her face had become sadden as she took it all in. Once she realized that I was watching her, she turned and asked “Why is she sad, mommy.” I said to her that the lady is sad because her mom passed away. At this particular instance, I could tell by the look she had that this would come back up soon.

And so it did!

But reminiscing about my childhood brings back these same memories that I use to have as a youth. I did not want to pass away early and miss out on my family. I use to think of death and stare off into the sky and think of the future and it would bring me to tears thinking of the what-if’s. How ironic we as adults think that our children are so different from us, when in essence they are miniature replicas of ourselves waiting to blossom into their unique selves.

After the conversation was over and she settled back into her set as we continued on our way home, I could not help but to thinkLIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER!